


un nuovo inizio

by ComeToMeBabe



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: AU, Coma, F/M, Manipulation, alchemy of lies and truth, drugs&tea, partial loss of memory, psychedelic mushrooms, under the influence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-07 04:25:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5443250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeToMeBabe/pseuds/ComeToMeBabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bedelia is in a coma. As it later turns out, she partly lost her memory.<br/>It's a great chance for Hannibal to create their story in his favor. </p><p>Did he use this opportunity? What Bedelia doesn't remember? And what she would like to forget?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It was supposed to be a new chapter "what if", but I decided to make it a separate story.  
> New tags will be added soon along with the developments.  
> I'm sorry for all kind of mistakes. I'm still learning.
> 
> enjoy! ;)

_"Her condition may improve, but we don't know when."_

 

Voices were blurred... 

She tried to open her eyes. Vainly.

 

_"I'm her husband, please tell me the truth."_

_"She's still in a coma and we don't know when she will wake up. That's all I can tell you."  
_

 

Husband? Whose husband? She's single woman...

 

 _Bedelia!_ \- some man desperately said to her. - _Please, wake up._

 

She couldn't open her eyes to look at him, but she knew this voice.

Why here is Hannibal Lecter?

And more importantly, why is she here?

 

 _Bedelia! You have to open your eyes._  - someone said to her.

 

But she is tired.

She should open her eyes, but she's so tired.

All that she wants is sleep.

 

* * *

 

Hannibal walked to a bedside chair and sat down, looking the hospital bed where for several weeks lay his Bedelia.

He sat listening to the steady beeping from her heart monitor.

Regular sound comforted him. It means that Bedelia is still alive. That she could still wake up… 

He gently holds her hand, watching her steady intake of breath.

She looked like she was asleep.

Sleeping Beauty. But in this fairy tale, kiss doesn't raise the princess.

 

 _Bedelia..._ \- Hannibal as always began his monologue. He wasn't sure if she was enough conscious to understand his words or if she could even hear him.

 _Please, wake up... -_ His voice quivers. _-  I should lie here, not you._ _  
_

Only here, sitting alone next to her, he can say such words.

 

* * *

She feels that someone holding her hand.

She barely opened her eyes. Her eyelids are heavy with exhaustion.

 

Where was she? It's not her bed and she doesn't know this place.

She looked at the man who is sitting next to her and is holding her hand.

 

 _Doctor Lecter._ \- she whispers barely and the man next to her almost immediately is waking up.

 _Bedelia..._ \- he responded softly and takes her face in his hands.

He kissed her temple, forehead, eyelids, and finally the lips.

Despite this, a kiss is gentle as a feather, it is still too affectionate.

It's too affectionate for such as their patient - psychiatrist relationship... 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all comment, kudos and for taking your time to read this story! :*
> 
> btw. I added a few new tags.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second chapter is probably the longest chapter I wrote ever.  
> About half a year ago I wrote nothing in English, so I think this is good progress. ;)  
> I still make mistakes, for which I'm sorry. 
> 
> I want to wish all of you:
> 
> ~~Merry Christmas~~

* * *

a   f e w   d a y s    l a t e r

* * *

 

Her husband is Doctor Lecter.

She should call him Hannibal, but she can't do it even in thought.

She remembers a conversation with a nurse a few days ago: 

 

 

 

> _\- Starai meglio. Ve lo garantisco, signora Lecter._
> 
> -  _Dr. Du Maurier_. - Bedelia whispered. More to herself than to the nurse.
> 
> -  _Che cosa?_
> 
> She replied, her speech was slurred:  _I'm Bedelia Du Maurier._
> 
>  

She was wrong. She was so wrong.

She is now... Bedelia Lecter. 

 

So, Dr. Lecter (or how she should say: Hannibal) is her husband and they live together.

They live together in a beautiful house - So he told her.

Tomorrow he will take her to the home.

Of course, not her home.

He will take her to his house. Or as he says: their home...

 

She don't even know where they are.

 _We live in Italy for a long time. -_ That was his answer to the question: _where we are?_

Better this answer than nothing.

On almost her every question Lecter responds: _You must rest. When you feel better, we'll talk._

The doctor who speaks English, also don't want to answer her questions and she didn't speak Italian well enough to talk to a nurse.

So she don't know why she is here and what happened that she was in a coma. 

She also don't know where she got the scar on her leg.

 

She has so many questions and so few answers she heard.

She can't invent a reason for which she is now married.

It can't be love. None of them is capable of feeling love.

They both have sharp edges and missing parts.   

* * *

 

It was night and the room was dark except for a small light that illuminated the way from the doorway. 

Hannibal sat alone in a quiet room, in almost darkness for hours.

He looked at the woman. Bedelia was sleeping peacefully. 

Her physical condition was already in order and finally tomorrow morning he will be able to take her home.

Her current mental state was another story. Partial loss of memory... 

It was his chance. It was his chance to retell his story.

He had enough time to create it in his head...

 

* * *

* * *

They're driving home. Wherever that is.

For almost all the way she felt oddly sleepy, almost stunned.

When a man covered her by his jacket, she falls asleep.

She hopes that she will dream of something from the past.

But all her dreams are about the sweet taste of tea that Hannibal gave her before traveling.

 

She feels that the car stops.

But her eyes are too heavy to opened.

She also feels that Hannibal carries her on his hands and puts her on something soft.

But her eyes are too heavy to opened.

Then she feels like he covers her with a blanket and kisses her on the cheek.

She hears Lecter talking to her.

But his voice is garbled as if he spoke to her from a very long distance.

* * *

 

This time, her dream was full of memories. But those memories were like a fairy tale told to sleep.

Those were her memories, but she felt as if someone placed it in her head. 

Now she remembers their wedding, but she couldn't remember how she felt or what she thought then...

As if she was only a spectator.

 

When she opened her eyes, she saw that it was already dark.

She couldn't see clearly, but she guessed that it's the bedroom.

Bedroom it's too intimate territory.

She prefer to stay for now in a more neutral place, like a living room. But not in bedroom.

she feel unable to move. Bedelia glance downward, noticing that there is an arm locked around her waist.

She lift herself out of bed and put feet on the cold floor.

She just need to get out of bed and go to the door. She should do it. But...

Why now is the dominant thought in her mind that she really want to come back under his arm and stay there forever?  

 

She is not cuddly person. She doesn't hold people and she doesn't like to be held.

But now...  Bedelia just wanted to go back to his arms.

Woman close her eyes tightly for a few seconds, trying in vain to push those thoughts to the wayside.

_„I can't. He is... actually, he was... my patient.”_

_He's your husband..._ \- says a small voice in her head.

 

 _\- Bedelia?_ \-  His sleepy voice interrupts her meditation.

 _\- Bedelia.._ \- he repeated drowsily. -   _I know you're here._

 

She need to get out of bed and go to the living room.

She just need to get out of this bed and go to any other room.

But... she couldn't move.

 

 _\- Why did you bring me here?_ \- it was all that she was able to say.

 _\- Car is not suitable for sleeping. From this is the bed. Bedelia, please. Come here_. - last sentence he almost mumbles.

She obediently listen to him. She was too powerless tonight, to deny him.

Bedelia put on the very edge of the bed, but his arms hug her tightly, close to him.

She immediately was trying to get out of this embrace.

 _\- Bedelia, can you calm down, please?_ \- His voice was now less sleepy. Actually, it was totally awake.

 _-That's too much. More than I can handle... Hannibal_. - she whispered softly. 

 

She looked like a frightened doe. 

The last time he had seen her in a similar state it was after her patient's death. 

Some things need to be broken, so that they can be pieced together again.

 

 _\- What is it?_ - he asked curiously, looking into her eyes.

_\- I don't let people hold me._

_\- Why?_

_\- Holding somebody is like the physical manifestation of some kind of deeper attachment and... I've never wanted anyone to even think that he possessed me._

He sighed loudly before he said: _You're my wife. I know that you don't remember that... But that's how we spent almost all nights. I've been holding onto you for the past five years_. - his fingertips land so softly into her hair. - _We'll get through this together. You'll just have to trust me. Can you trust me?_

In the silence she nodded, and he hugged her again.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his chest.

 _\- Hannibal?_ \- she whispered softly after a moment.

 _\- hmm?_   - he mumbled drowsily. Apparently, he had already started to fall asleep.

She raised her head and leaned on one elbow to look him in the eye.

_-Tell me something about our life.._

_\- What do you exactly want to know, Bedelia?_

_\- Tell me, why are we married?_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things need to be broken, so that they can be pieced together again.  
> Alchemy of lies and truth.  
> In this dangerous game easily make a one step too much.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas ;)  
> Now I wish everyone: Happy New Year!

- _Hannibal?_  - she whispered softly after a moment.

\- _hmm?_   - he mumbled drowsily. Apparently, he had already started to fall asleep.

She raised her head and leaned on one elbow to look him in the eye.

- _Tell me something about our life.._

_\- What do you exactly want to know, Bedelia?_

_\- Tell me, why are we married?_

He was silent for a moment.

Taking a slow breath, looked at her and he said in a serious voice:

_\- I think that this is not a conversation for now, we'll talk tomorrow. We'd better go to sleep._

\- _No._ \- she replied firmly - _You answer in that way for all my questions. I need to know... something._

Hannibal sighed resignedly. She still was so stubborn... 

\- _All right. So... What do you think, why do people get married, Bedelia?_

She raised an eyebrow, startled by his question. 

 _\- Love, money... But... it can't be a reason for us, Hannibal. And..._ \- She told him uncertainly. 

_\- And?_

- _Pregnant._ \- She took a deep breath before she asked – _Was I pregnant?_

Her eyes showed fear. Pregnancy was definitely not on the list of her dreams.

\- _No. Unfortunately not._ -after a while, Hannibal said calmly - _There is another reason, Bedelia. Protection._

In response to her surprised look, he continued:

- _I always felt protective of you. And when in our life, some things not gone our way, we had to take that and no other decisions._

\- _What do you mean, Hannibal?_ \- woman still didn't know what he wanted to say. His answers were unclear. What „some things” he mean?

- _We got married, to protect each other._

\- _From what?_ \- she whispered confused.

\- _From all the world, Bedelia._

After a while he pressed his lips to her temple and softly whispered:

_\- You must rest. Please, try to sleep._

- _That's the only reason?_ \- she whispered quietly, regardless of what he said.

\- _What?_

_\- That's the only reason why we get married?_

_\- Not exactly._

_\- Not exactly?_

_\- Over time, our fake marriage has become true. So, something must be between us before._

_\- I hope that one day I'll remember everything._ \- she whispered after a moment of silence and put her head on a pillow.

She said it more to herself than to him.

- _I hope so._ \- He answered her and wrapped his strong arms around her waist.

Bedelia fell asleep when his hands stroked her back. The heat from his hands, warmed her thin body.

___________________________________________________________ 

 

It was a simple pleasure to look at her twisted up in his sheets. What more, in his arms.

Previously Bedelia rarely fell asleep in his arms.

Most of the time when they were together, they had separate bedrooms.

Even when they spent the night together, they fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.

But now things have changed.

He hoped that Bedelia believe him yesterday. He hopes that woman will believe him in rest of the story that he's going to tell her... 

How much easier it would be to spend life with a somebody else who doesn't know him.

But Hannibal wanted her and he won't let her go again.

 

Man stroked woman's cheek with his hand before he woke her with a kiss on the temple:

\- _Morning Bedelia. It's time to wake up, eat breakfast and take your medicines._

- _Mmm...._ \- she only murmured sleepily.

 

Bedelia felt some gentle kisses across her nose and cheeks.

Is it a dream or a reality?

She heard that someone calling her, but it seemed to her that this is still a dream.

She felt soft lips on her lips...

Alarmingly, she realized that she had fallen asleep against Hannibal's chest and it's his lips.

She opened her eyes and she saw that above her lay Hannibal. He leaned on his elbow.

Her chest was rising and falling rapidly.

She didn't realize she was breathing hard until her heaving chest was almost bumping right into his.

Bedelia tried to calm her breathing. Unsuccessful.

- _I think you slept well, since it was so hard to wake you up._ \- he smirked.

Hannibal tried to kiss her again, but she gently turned her head and his lips landed on her cheek.

\- _Yes, I sleep well._ \- She smiled slightly, but her eyes still remained cold. - _Can you show me where the bathroom is and where are my clothes, please?_

\- _Obviously, my Dear. Come with me._

___________________________________________________________ 

 

The bathroom had a separate entrance to the huge walk-in wardrobe with her clothes.

Most of the clothes she doesn't remember - she had to bought them here. Or he do it...

Bedelia chose a beige cashmere sweater and a brown trousers.

She chose the trousers to hide the scar on her leg. Scar, whose origin is still not known for her.

She made a subtle makeup, combed her hair and then she came back to bedroom.

The bedroom was already empty.

She sat on the bed and looked around the room.

She reportedly lived here for the last five years, but Bedelia felt like she was here for the first time in her life.

 

She still couldn't believe that they are married.

His version was convincing, but not completely.

What had to happen, that marriage was the only way out of the situation?

Was it as part of his... help?

Woman was so pensively that hadn't even noticed when Hannibal sat beside her on the bed.

She noticed him when he put his hand on her back.

_\- Come with me, Bedelia. I made breakfast for us. I have prepared your favorite veal._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all the mistakes!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... this is the end... ;)  
> From the very beginning I planned it will be a short story.
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, kudos!  
> It's incredibly nice! 
> 
> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥  
> ♥♥♥♥♥♥Thank you! ♥♥♥♥♥♥  
> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

The days went by and Bedelia reminded herself more and more.

Hannibal told her about their past, but in her head was still a lot of empty gaps.

Man on some of her questions answered very ambiguously.

Speaking of Hannibal...

She slowly getting used to the idea of being married...

Being married with Hannibal Lecter.

He was a really caring person. He took care of her like no one else before...

What scares her, she started becoming more and more attached to him.

_Human doesn't need the sensitivity, until he experience it, but when once that happens, he never have enough..._

* * *

* * *

 Bedelia was at kitchen preparing cup of chamomile tea. Or being more precise - _Hannibal's version of chamomile._

Hannibal was almost a master of art called changing memory.

For this purpose he use small amount of psychedelic mushrooms that he added to her chamomile.

And for almost every her tea...

 

When Bedelia was in the kitchen, man at this time lay in their bed and mused.

Fortunately, she doesn't remember all bad events. He tried for it.

The old grudges were not so important anymore. They just seemed irrelevant.

They're married. That's all that mattered.

 

He still remembered the day when she tried to leave him... The day when all ended and began. 

It was almost a year after their arrival in Italy. For several months they were married. But only fictitiously... 

_"I've had to draw a conclusion based on what I glimpsed through the stitching of the person suit that you wear._

_And the conclusion I've drawn is that you are dangerous."_

When she tried to left their apartment, one of his former patient came to talk to him.  

Unfortunately, she was then in the wrong place and at the wrong time.

When patient saw Bedelia, he went berserk...

Under her care, his brother committed suicide. 

Unconventional methods of treatment hasn't worked this time. 

When she tried to escape, she was stabbed in the leg. Falling, she hit her head...

Hannibal could only defended her unconscious body... 

In remembrance of that incident, he has a big scar on his stomach. 

He had to carry her to a private clinic. There didn't ask questions.

But now she is still with him... alive. As opposed to that man.

Hannibal could tell her reduced version of the story... His version. 

 

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the opening door. 

_\- I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you up._

\- _No, you didn't._ \- He held out his hand and sat upright. - _Come here._

 Bedelia sat down and rested her back on his chest. He took her in his arms.

A simple gesture, but the man is very happy with their newly created intimacy.

Before she only sees him as a patient and her colleague...

Now they are like husband and wife. Actually, they ARE husband and wife...

_\- You okay?_ \- he whispered gently stroking her hair.

- _I just don't feel very well tonight, It'll pass._ \- she said distracted.

This is repeated every evening, she felt so tired every night.

Hannibal told her that it's the influence of medicines  that she must take to fully recover. 

Bedelia drank the cup of of the beverage in silence.

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion.

When she put down her empty cup, she turned her head toward his chest...

Hazy. Things were so hazy...

- _Good night, Hannibal._ \- She managed to whisper before she fell asleep.

 

He lay in silence, deep in thought. 

He thought about what might he say and what is to be forgotten.

Forever...

 

He covers them with a blanket and kissed her on the temple.

This is what he always wanted for them.

* * *

 Images of THAT NIGHT came rushing back.

...knife...

...piercing pain in her leg...

...man with knife...

...Hannibal with knife...

...her fall...

...and darkness... Darkness, when she hit her head on the floor...

The last thing she remembers is darkness... 

* * *

 

She woke up terrified. Her chest rose and fell fast and her heart was beating fast.

_\- What happened?_ \- Hannibal asked and gently stroked his hand down her cheek.

She slightly moved away from him.

_\- I remembered something..._ - she said hesitantly - _I've seen in my dream... I've seen how dangerous you are._

\- _What exactly did you see?_ \- He said curiously. 

_\- Knife, my leg... you._

After awhile she asked him the question that haunted her: _Is that you have done me the scar on my leg? It's through you I was in coma?_

He instead immediately answer her, turned on the light and undid his pajamas. Her eyes appeared even larger scar.

Then he said: _I got it from the same guy who made it for you._

- _So..._ \- She gently touched his wound. - _Why he did this to you?_

\- _Defense, I think. It was an accident that he has wounded me... I only fought to protect what I have treasured._

_\- So, what do you have in your life the most valuable, Hannibal?_ \- Irritation flashes across her face. Too many vague answers.

The look in his eyes gets a little more intense.

And the fluttering in her chest increases when he said: _You._

She asked unsteadily _- _Who was this man?__

\- _He was very rude towards you and I wanted to protect you._

She said nothing. 

She may no longer wants to know more.

With her fault two people died...

Once again... To protect her.

The moment of silence between them broke Hannibal - _Jack Crawford led the investigation on your patient. This patient._

Few days ago they talked about this. 

It was a memory that she would prefer not to remember... But she remember ... precisely ... in detail.

- _This was the reason of your wedding._ \- Hannibal continued - T _o protect each other._ _From this time we couldn't testify against each other. We came to Italy to start a new life. - he took a deep breath _-_ Now you know the whole truth. _

After a moment she said:  _Thank you. Maybe I don't remember. Maybe I obliterated it from memory, but... thank you._

_\- I'll always protect you._ - he whispered and cupped her face before capturing his lips between her. 

It was their first kiss. Kisses were soft and gentle and it tastes like luxury wine.

Bedelia found herself relaxing into his touch, something she had not expected of herself for so many years... 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Sorry for the mistakes.


End file.
